So I do not sit around and wallow in my own self-pity too often. Some of you probably wanted to kick me and say "Why are you complaining? You are #1." My brain can rationalize all those things. It knows I have to be here to get to my daughter. I just never thought my heart would get so involved until I met her.
Anyway, yesterday was the first day of Operation Stay Distracted. I realized yesterday that I was not being fully present for my kids. I was spending too much time feeling sad that I don't know my daughter yet. I have two wonderful gifts from God right here and I was not giving them all of me. So yesterday I made a conscious choice to be fully present for them. Now, I will do my best not to be consumed by my sadness, but if I am still waiting in a month you might see another day or two of Eeyore. This may sound weird too, but I am overjoyed it is Friday. There is no pressure over the weekend, because you know the phone will not be ringing and you can just be without jumping if it does or obsessing if it doesn't.
Today my two kiddos and I are headed to the local Children's Museum for a morning of fun. We are going to pick up some friends on the way. I will make sure I have pants on with pockets : ) but will not be distracted by the phone NOT ringing and just enjoy the wonder of my two little ones here.
*I will update this horribly boring pictureless post later and add a few from our morning!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Day 2 - Opertion Stay Distracted
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7 comments:
I hear ya! I think come the middle of Oct. I will be watching the phone. Maybe we should check on each other and make sure we are giving our children that are home with us the attention they need:)
Michelle
No kidding! We're not quite on the list and I'm still always on Operation: Distraction!!!
Have I already asked you this and lost my mind???--but can I have your snail mail address?
nellannp@gmail.com
Hi Amy~
Hang in there! You know I can't wait for you to get your referral so I can be number 1! I've been thinking about you these past few days and know it must be so hard. Enjoy your time with your two little ones, soon to be three!
I totally understand what you mean when you say you realized you weren't being completely there for you babies!! I'm not waiting on "the call" but I feel like we have so much preparation to do I get too distracted sometimes. These are precious moments for our family, just like before the birth of a child. May God continue to calm your spirit.
You are so wise to stay busy. I always had "adoption" projects while I was waiting.
Praying that you get the call soon!
I agree with Michelle, having been thru this before I admit, staying distracted is the best medicine! The call will come when you are NOT expecting it :) It is very hard to not get down, but if you can keep adoption talk, to a minimum to stay distracted it does help your sanity ;) BUT when the call and pics come....watch out ! You will be floating on cloud 9 !! Maria
Good luck staying distracted! Thinking of you.
Autumn
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