Feeling a little...

scared, nervous, excited. I am just a ball of anxiety right now. Each step of the wait in this adoption process has gotten progressively harder. You think that when you finally see your child's face it will all get better. Well I have been looking at her beautiful face for just shy of 2 months now. The wait is even harder now and I know that it will only get harder still until my little one is in my arms.

I fully trust in God, but I don't think trusting in Him excludes feeling scared of what the outcome will be. I pray that His will be done, but I also know as a mother I will be truly heartbroken if His will does not mean bringing her home at this time. Whatever happens I will trust in Him and His plan.

I feel like I can't let myself get too excited, because I don't want to have an even bigger let down if we don't make it this time through.

One week from tonight (Ethiopia is 11 hours ahead of us on the west coast) a decision will be made. I just continue to petition God that all our paperwork is together and the judge looks upon us favorably. I don't want to wait any longer for this child that God placed upon my heart so long ago.